Friday, February 28, 2014

If i could go back in time, top 5 places/times I'd go.

All of time and space, where would you go. Well there are a thousand and one places/times to go to, but imagining that you can't alter history, just observe, where would you go? Well, in no particular order, here's my top five:

1. April 21–22, 1999- The Berkeley Community Theatre, San Francisco.
2. June 20th, 1965- The Kiel Opera House, St. Louis.
3. September 8th, 1966- Anywhere watching TV in America.
4. January 20th-30th, 1994- Park City, Utah, USA.
5. EITHER: Sometime during 1598-1612- The Globe Theatre, England, UK.

I suppose I'd better elaborate.

So number 1 is the date that the Metallica S&M show took place. Metallica, a well known, heavy/thrash metal band, performs their greatest hits, accompanied by a full orchestra. I love the blend of the metal song that i already love, but with the added kick of the orchestra, really makes this easily my album of all time. I love this album. I love the live dvd footage, but to have been there and to have heard it played live, must have been fantastic. So whichever night they recorded, either the 21st or the 22nd, i'd like to go to the other one.

So number 2 takes us from my first favorite genre of music, to my second: lounge. I don't know if lounge is the right term, but I love Sinatra, Martin, Davis JR, and I suppose the modern equivalent would be Buble. But this performance was the first time these guys were televised for the whole world to see. I researched a few of their shows, and this one stood out as what would be the most memorable. 

So for number 3 I had the choice between two different TV show pilot premiers. The show I decided not to use is essentially the basis for this entire set of questions (no points for guessing which or WHO I mean) but then the other option was a little show called Star Trek. I'm a big trekkie, albeit only since 2009, but as a loyal little nerd, I went back and watched where it all started. The camp acting, the wobbly sets, the 'inventive' aliens, and the pure sci-fi of it all. Because of this show, there have been (not counting animated) 28 seasons of all the incarnations of the show, and 12 movies. 

Number 4 tackles movie premiers. My favorite movie? Alas no after reading number 3 it isn't Star Trek (that's a close second), it's a little movie called Clerks. Directed, authored, featured, edited, and produced by my hero himself: Kevin Smith. It's my favorite movie, it came out when i was 4, so to have the experience to watch my favorite movie in a movie theatre/cinema would be awesome. 

So we've tackled music (twice), TV and Film, only one form of media left, yep, live theatre. I had a hard choice between 3. April 19th 2001 for Matthew Broderick and Nathan Lane performing The Producers, June 2nd 2004 for when the live performance of When Harry Met Sally. Finally I decided to go classy and picked the first performance of my favorite Shakespeare: Much Ado About Nothing. I've been in it, I've seen it live twice at the west end, I've seen the movies over and over again. I love it. Now i couldn't find a definitive first performance date, but its somewhere in between 1598 and 1612, I'm sure my Time and Space machine would either pin point it for me, or allow me trial and error.

There we have it. My top 5. Do you agree with any of these? What/where would you go/do different? Is anyone actually reading this? Leave me a comment in the comment section.

Until next time, NoelDarling, over and out.

Sunday, February 23, 2014

Another A-Level essay.

Right, duvet: off. My pillows, still with fresh drool: off. The other pillows, with a faint scent of her still on them: reluctantly off. The underlay, slightly creased on one side and definite signs of use on the other: off. I am going to let you in on a little secret: I have no idea what I am doing.

I collect the washables in the horrid yellow basket your mother bought us and I headed downstairs. I pass the sofa that presented your accursed treasure and enter the kitchen. This used to be your domain, you knew everything to do with everything in this room, but you never told me anything. I put the basket on the floor and start to shovel the washables into the washer. Now if only I knew which button made it go, I can  handle machines, you know I can handle machines, but this one has me stumped; all of the buttons and knobs each will present the washables in a different outcome. I fill it with powder, jab at a few of the buttons and its working, at least.

I collapse in my chair and am reunited with her once again. Her slender figure, her smooth, shiny skin and the way she always does what I want her to do. She is almost too loyal: never asking questions, never doubting my every move and always making that sweet purring sound. I can sit playing her for hours on end and with her there is no mother in law.

I’m sat shooting Nazis with my MP40 and recall that day. It was a Saturday afternoon, I was shooting some different Nazis then, or was I protecting summoners from fiends in Spira? Either way I was fixed on the game. You came in from shopping about half past four and said you felt like cleaning, what for I still don’t know. Anyway she started to clean with the vacuum and was standing in front of the TV, I shouted at her. She moved and with a flick of her hoover she had sucked up the plug from the wall and my gaming all day was in vein, I had not reached a save point. I shouted some more, she shouts back I go upstairs for a shower. Whilst upstairs I hear a scream. I come running downstairs to find her jumping up and down like a baboon. She turns around and shows me a piece of paper, which I don’t get time to read and she says she found in the sofa whilst cleaning, then starts jumping up and down again. Then she goes upstairs. Then it hit me. She was watching the lottery. She came downstairs with a suitcase packed, says she was leaving me and would be back for her stuff at a later date and leaves me, alone.

It was Monday when she came round demanding her stuff. So I try the whole “baby, don’t leave me, what did I do?” big mistake. She goes off on this huge rant about how ever since I bought my sweet games console all I ever do is play it and there is no time for her. Then there was a bit of crying, bits of things that I had done wrong which I couldn't understand due to the tears but I caught the odd word and insult to get basically what she was saying. She then said that she had won 5.6 million pounds and wouldn't be needing me so was living at Debby’s, who Debby was at this point I had no idea who Debby was. Then she got one of her bags, which my offer to carry was refused, and went. I wondered about carrying one of the other bags she had made of all her things, but thought better of it. Then she returned but this time she had brought a friend, whom I assume was Debby. Well again between you and me Debby had the world's greatest backside ever, although I think they noticed that I had noticed so I tried to busy myself in the kitchen with a cup of tea, fortunately I can use the kettle. I watched my newly ex and Debby or “The Bum” as she was referred to in my head, carry all 15 bags of what I would have labeled “crap” out of my flat. She came back up, gave one last look at me and gave me my key and the finger, what a charming person.

God only knows where she lives now, and frankly I couldn't care less. I have my console and that’s all I need. Now if you’ll excuse me I am about to start my new demonic powers and guns game.

My Y12 A-Level English Language essay, written in 2006/7

Stretching out in front of me, the harbor came into view. Somewhere on one those ships a man wheezed in his sleep; he alone was the person who could help us.

"Not long now", was the quiet mumbling from my comrade in arms. I often wondered why the great Sir Tent became my friend. I remember the town of Alexus. I remember the accident with the candle and the beehog. I also recall Sir Tent in the smoke and the most unfortunate of recollections that day was the bright pink light and the pain in my left arm, but the rest, a mystery. Every time I inquire to Tent about that day he finds some way of diverting my attention.

"We’ll be fine", Tent muttered, “We have my sword, your spear and Ketrin here has her father’s revolvers”.
My third companion was the beautiful daughter of Euram Blant; Ketrin Blant. Ketrin and her father were the governors of my village and even though I could never grasp politics, we had been friends since as far back as I can remember. I always had a deep urge within me that we should be together, as she was the only girl that I knew that made my heart beat faster and slower at the same whenever I laid eye on her. Many times before had I tried to talk to her about it, but I could never muster enough courage and changed the subject. I could go into a war risking my life, but I can’t speak to a girl. All of a sudden my thoughts of being alone with Ketrin were annoyingly cut short by a loud scream.

I turned around and saw that my third companion wasn't there, but a deep growl from the left hand side told me that I would be using my spear a lot sooner than I had intended to.
A creature lunged at Sir Tent and sent him flying through the air. He hit the floor and didn't get up. Before I could get to him and see if he was OK, the beast blocked my path and I fell. I saw it for what it was, a Jibbo. I had never seen a Jibbo before but they were exactly as they had been described to me; a large dog with long, brown, shaggy hair, that made a mixture of growls and sounds that could have been someone playing the drums. I thought I would have been ready for an attack, but I was shaking, my palms were very sweaty and my feet were rooted to the ground.

The Jibbo made a sudden loud note and started to charge. I dodged. The Jibbo came to a halt and rushed recklessly at me again. I dodged it for the second time, but when I turned around to see where the beast had gone, time seemed to stand still. The Jibbo had somehow jumped in the air and was coming down on me like a boot on a defenseless ant. I heard a scream and I was crouched under the beast with my spear in hand, dreading what would happen if the Jibbo made it to the ground, but I would never know, as it happened again.

Without warning a bright light filled my eyes. This time it was bright blue and even though my eyes were covered, I was still blinded by blue. There was a loud booming sound, which I guess came from the Jibbo and then silence.
When the light dimmed a face glared down at me. I did not recognise this face but it helped me to my feet. As I stood I saw Sir Tent, supporting an injured Ketrin. The face that helped me up belonged to a man in a brown cloak and who had scars on his nose that were crossed under his eyes. He began to speak.

“Are you o.k.?”
I couldn't reply, so I merely nodded.
“I am glad”, he replied, “If I had not arrived when I did you would have been that Jibbo’s next meal.”
My head was hurting as though it was in a clamp. I tried to remember what had happened, but the memories were running away like water through a sieve. I had eventually found my voice and muttered, “What…was the…light?”
“I can answer that one”

Sir Tent had perched Ketrin against a large rock and stepped forward, his arm was definitely broken, “You also possess the power of a Shogun don’t you?”

At the time I had no-idea what a Shogun was and I neither did I care because I noticed Ketrin had started to stir.
I mustered all the strength I could and crawled closer to Ketrin to check to see if she was OK.
The cloaked man stumbled at what Sir Tent had said and stared up with a confused and shocked expression on his face.
 “How…how…d…do…y…y…y…” the cloaked man stuttered.
“I hold the power of the pink Shogun symbol”
The man fell to the floor and just couldn't accept the information he had just herd, he was about to speak but I turned and intervened.
“It was you!”
“It was me”
I couldn't believe what my ears, Sir Tent had confessed to summoning the pink light, a sudden deep beast had erupted in my heart and was telling all my muscles to attack Tent right here, right now, but I thought better of it, so I confronted him.
“All along, you where the one that shone the bright pink light on Alexus, all this time and you kept avoiding it whenever I asked you!” The beast was growling with rage.
“Yes and…”
“Then it was you who got rid of the Beehog and caused the excruciating pain in my arm and…”

Sir Tent took a step forward and raised his hand to signal me to stop speaking, I did so but only because I knew that he could kill me in several different ways all at once.
“I caused you no pain that night, you fell out of your chair and fell to the floor, I assume you landed on something sharp and painful, but right now with this man’s help, you and I will, hopefully understand everything”
“Err…sorry but I do have a name” the cloaked man declared, “its Bowton”
“Well, Mr Bowton, may I inquire as to you telling me and my comrade what you know of the Shoguns”

There was silence as Bowton stared first at Sir Tent, then at Ketrin and finally his eyes rested on me. In his eyes I saw pain and suffering. He seated himself on the ground. He was in deep thought. My attention turned again to Ketrin, who had just got to her feet.
“No”, I darted towards her, as she lost her balance and fell back into my arms, “You need rest”
“I…don’t need any…rest”, she said with her breathtaking smile, “but now that you mention it I…I could go for some food I’m starving!”
We laughed. It had been so long since we had both laughed like this. I stared into her eyes. I had never stared into a person’s eyes before and saw for the first time how beautiful they were.
“Do I have something in my eye?” Ketrin said with a smile.
“No, I just never realised that your eyes were so pretty”
She laughed, “Very flattering, and I do believe you might have fallen far me”
“W…w…w…well…well…I…I…I…” I couldn't speak, my cheeks were filling with blood and my palms became very sweaty again.
“It’s O.K. I know. You don’t have to say anything”
She leant up and came closer to me and I in turn was leaning closer to her.
It was a touching moment, we were millimeters away from one another, but was however cut short by Bowton clearing his throat. The huge beast within me, from before was growling and cursing at Bowton for interrupting us, but I kept my feelings to myself
 “O.k. I will tell you all I know”
“Thank you good sir”, Tent said, as he moved to sit next to Bowton.
“Right then, where to begin…”

Bowton and Tent then went on to explain about Shoguns, while I listened and Ketrin rested her head in my lap.
The Shoguns were a family of great warriors that lived hundreds of years ago. They protected their land on a far off world from all who opposed them. Then the ruler of the neighboring land requested their help in protecting some incredible power. The Shoguns accepted and became very rich and very powerful.

At this point Ketrin gave a cute, but rather loud snore and fell asleep, while Bowton carried on.

One day, the Shoguns decided that they should be able to see what they have been guarding all this time. The ruler had forbidden this, but the Shoguns didn't care and proceeded to gaze at this almighty power. What they saw no-one knows, but whatever it was it destroyed the Shoguns. That would have the end of it but there was something else.

My pulse increased as I heard this and leant in closer to hear Sir Tent explain more.

When the Shoguns were young, the smallest and youngest had made them all carry a different coloured metal symbol to prove that they were Shoguns; Pink, Blue and Green. The power that destroyed the far off planet could not destroy the three Shogun symbols. Instead they absorbed their master’s power and because of the explosion, were scatted to the far corners of the world.

Both Sir Tent and Bowton possessed a Shogun symbol and therefore both had Shogun powers but the location of the third metal ring is still a mystery and must be found before some-one else does, someone who would use it for evil.

Sir Tent and Bowton then, I assume went into more detail about the symbology, but for all I know discussed how to make the world's greatest onion soup, because Ketrin had opened her eyes and stared up at me with her smile.

“Can we try this again, while we can?”
She smiled, closed her eyes and leant up closer to me. Seizing the moment while I could, I kissed Ketrin. I had never kissed a woman before and loved every minute of it. It seemed to go on forever and I wished it did, but eventually it had to stop.
Ketrin smiled and whispered, “I would like to do that again too, but I’m very tired and need sleep”.

She curled herself up in my lap like a pet cat would and started to sleep. I couldn't stop myself and gave her a peck on the forehead before falling asleep myself, leaving Sir Tent and Bowton discussing long into the night.

A short World Of Warcraft story I wrote just after Mists Of Pandaria was released.

Of all the safe houses and Sanctuaries around the world, Noel Darling, Paladin of the Silver Hand, has never felt more safe or at home than in his quarters in Dalaran. It's unusual for a non-mage to take a liking to the Magi capital of Azeroth, but despite his dedication to the light, Noel always admired the arcane arts and those that practise them. He had only recently acquired his current living area, after winning it in a duel against a rather unusual Worgen Mage. It wasn't much but it was all the adventurer needed; a medium sized room, with a section curtained off for a bed, and two smaller rooms either side for a kitchen and a bathroom.
Noel sat underneath a window, at a rather large table, which had obviously taken a beating from some alchemical experimentation the Worgen had be developing. In one hand he held a cloth, with which he was polishing his chest-piece with, and in the other hand, a freshly brewed cup of honey-mint tea.  He sipped at the tea and took a moment to look down at his protective attire. It was the most mismatched armour set worn by anyone in the history of Azeroth. Every piece was a gift from someone, who had hired Noel to help them with some menial task, varying from the retrieval of some lost or yearned for item, helping clear out any unwanted pests, to actually aiding in the war efforts that have ravaged all adventures for the last several years. Each piece told a different tale, except for his goggles, which he created himself through his exceptional engineering skills. His armour may look impressive, but compared with most it was as useful as a potato sack. Where Noel was a terrific adventurer, he mainly left the fighting to more experienced adventures. He would help as much as he could up to the main fight, but would often fall short at the final confrontation. He wished he could have been there when Ragnaros was first banished, or when Illidan had been slain, or to have witnessed the final seconds of Arthas' life before he was laid to rest, and just recently he was absent from the fall of the Earth Dragon Aspect, Deathwing's, reign of terror.

Bringing him out of his trance was a knock on the door. Setting everything down on the table, he got up and walked over to it. Although Dalaran was a Sanctuary, there were still Horde members who would like to see the end of Noel. He had one hand on the door handle, the other, inches from the hilt of his mace, leaning against the wall. He slowly opened the door and peered into the hallway. Standing there was Noel's best friend, Drackmore, a Draenei Hunter.

"What are you doing right now?", she said asked, with a sense of urgency in her voice.

"Well I was enjoying a nice cup of tea, but I'm assuming you're here with something more dangerous to do?", Noel replied as he made his way back to sit at the table.

"No time for tea, Doctor Darling, we've been summoned by King Varian."

Now most adventurers would have been honoured to be personally summoned by the king of Stormwind and leader of the Alliance, but not Noel.

"What does he want now? We already vanquished the Twilight Cult, we exorcised the Scourge and fought for him in that Tournament we had in Icecrown. What could he possibly want now?"

Drackmore hesitated, before turning around and closing the door.

"Close the window, I don't trust that Horde spies aren't listening in to us."

She took a few steps into the room, her hooves clopping on the wooden floor, as Noel closed the window.

"Prince Anduin was on a ship bound for Booty Bay, and we received word that the fleet he was with has been attacked by the Horde. The King is gathering everyone and anyone to board the Stormcaller and fly out to find him. There are reports to suggest wreckage on an uncharted island."

Noel set down his tea and stared into the cup. He had known the young Prince since he was a young frightened boy, ruling the kingdom in his father's absence. Since Varian had returned, he had grown from a young frightened boy, into a mature young man. He and Noel were even key in securing the discovery of the Twilight Hammer's corruption in Stormwind. To now be told that his young friend was lost at sea because of the Horde gave Noel but one simple response.

"We'll set off as soon as I am packed."

Preparing for adventures in uncharted territory, he knew he had to pack only the essentials. He had his armour, which he promptly put on. Sure it wasn't as impressive as the matching collection Drackmore was wearing, which she recieved as reward for her involvement in the slaying of Deathwing, but her's had seen a lot more action than Noel's. There there were still dints in her armour and still some dried blood stains. Noel emptied his pack, leaving only a snack, a drink, his trusty Gnomish Army Knife and hearthstone.

"Let's do this"

They left Noel's small apartment and made their way to the Alliance Embassy in Dalaran, where the magi had erected a portal directly to Stormwind. Drackmore went first, beaming herself across to a whole different continent. Noel took one last look around, glancing at a Night Elf and Human talking in the corner, before smiling and taking the first step on his new adventure. 

Wow has it really been that long?

....Hello....pfft....pfftttt...hello?? Can anyone read me?

Ah its working again. Wow, after 3 years of absence this blog is still attached to my google account!?! Wow.

Well not going to lie, recently I've been feeling the old writing itch. The only problem being that I have absolutly nothing to write about, then again, looking back on afew of these posts, it didn't stop me before now did it?

Well what can i say? I stopped reviewing movies, because i got bored with writing the same thing over, and over and over, and over, and over, and over, and over again.

What I really want is to write a play. Not a full length, 2-4 act play, but maybe just a short 1 act play. Just to prove to myself that i can do it.

Well as soon as i get some inspiration i'll be sure to update.

Until then, this is NoelDarling. Over and out.